BEAN: keepin it real since 1981

Thursday, April 20, 2006

April showers bring.....cold feet!


Not the jitters kind of cold feet - literally COLD ASS FEET!

Seriously - that's what I have left after a day like today. Let's begin shall we....

*first and foremost I need to update you (as per my plan) that I have been doing really good about not eating after 7 - in fact I have only had dinner once this week. And I didn't feel deprived - I just haven't been hungry. I walked yesterday for a while - if you count an hour and 1/2 grocery shopping. And today - oh ho ho - today....well just read on my lovelies....


Alrighty - so this morning I wake up early-ish - about 7:45 and I get into the shower. I hurried up in the shower because I knew that Carmela had to go to the bathroom. So...I get out of the shower, towel dry my hair a bit, get some pj's on and go to bring her out. OK apparently time goes extra fast when you are trying to hurry up in the shower - because miraculously it was freakin 8:20! So I take the dog out - I can only assume that she will go right away because she waited while I took my shower of eternity. Guess not. She pooped right when we got out there - but she took FOREVER to pee. Finally 12 minutes later I brought her in - her bladder still full. I HAD to get ready - it's now 8:32 and I'm still in my pj's with wet frizzy hair - we have to leave at 8:45! So Trav got dressed and took the dog out again while I finished getting ready. I was getting dressed when Trav came back in and yelled "She got away from me and is chasing someone down the street!" So I - in only my skirt and a bra - yell "WELL GO OUT THERE AND GET HER! I'm not even DRESSED!" So he goes back out and I finally get my shirt on and flip flops and go out there to get her. Keep in mind the time now it's now 8:45.

Carmela is a block down the street chasing after an old black lady walking to the bus stop. The old black lady is terrified and keeps frantically swinging her bags at yelling at Carmela
"GET! GET! GO HOME!" Well by this time Carmela thinks it's a goddamn game - so she keeps charging at the lady and then running away. I'm walking down there calling her name - I finally get the old black lady to stay still and calm down so Carmela will stop "playing" with her. Carmela then decides to run away from ME now and runs down the block some more. Lovely.
What time is it now? Who the f*&@ knows. I wonder if that old black lady will write about a little dog chasing after her this morning in her blog?
Anyway - I finally get Carmela to follow me back by asking her if she wanted to go buh-bye. Then two little girls came out of their apartment building to wait for their bus - Carmela now wants to play with them. They try to help me grab her - but she just wants to play.
NOW my weirdo neighbor that does the landscaping for our building comes out and is trying to get Carmela's attention. Carmela likes him and goes up to him - get grabs her by the collar - AND THEN LETS HER GO! "Oops" he says. Oops?! Oops?! Fuck you, Buddy.
So now he's determined to get her and started CHASING her towards the house screaming at her to get in the house. Told you he's weird. So now Carmela is scared and starts barking at him. She FINALLY follows me inside and I slam the door. It's 9:05. Awesome.
I am livid.
I STILL have to make our lunches for the day. We were supposed to be at work 5 minutes ago.
Carmela knows she was bad - she's hiding behind Travis so I can't see her.
She still didn't pee.
The thing that sucked so bad is that I couldn't even scold her for it! She was about 5 seconds from having to be in her crate for the next 8 hours and I couldn't have her thinking that her crate was her "bad" place. So I just yelled at Trav - he understood though :)

Work was ok - the day went by super fast and I had a deja-vu. Whenever that happens to me - I always feel like I'm doing the right thing - like I am where I'm supposed to be - so it's always a good feeling.

All of a sudden it's 4:00 and I have to leave for school. Trav had to work late, so I took the Light Rail to downtown and figured I could just walk the 8 blocks to school. Well it didn't take long to realize that was a bad idea. I wore my heels today - keep in mind I'm still wearing a skirt as well. I figured - these heels aren't that bad - I can do it. Oh I did it alright - I walked the 8 blocks. In the mother-effing rain.
It didn't start raining until just as I got off the train - just a sprinkle. So I put up the hood on my sweater and decided to just keep going - I didn't really have a choice.
About - oh- a second later - it started raining hard. My face was wet, my hands were cold, my legs were freezing and my shoes made that wonderful *squish* noise. Not to mention the comfortable friction my thighs were creating by rubbing together - on account of me being so fit and trim.
I finally get to school - and it stops raining. I couldn't make this up, folks.
I'm freezing and soggy - and I smell like stale wet clothes. On my way to my classroom 3 separate people take one look at me and each said "Oh is it still raining pretty hard outside?"
No Bitch, I just felt like taking a shower wearing all my clothes, my purse, and my backpack before class today, got a problem with that?
Can you tell I have my period too?

Class goes well, I get thirsty and go to the vending machine to get some water - which I ended up getting Diet Coke because I was beat and needed some sort of energy. I got deja-vu again!
So I'm like - alright - so this was all SUPPOSED to happen today? I don't know, Man.

Trav pics me up from school and we head home. I get home and I have to pee really bad - but I figure (I really need to stop assuming things) that Carmela has not peed at all today - and she probably has to go way worse than me. Being the good Mom I am - I just change into my pj pants and throw on a sweatshirt (cuz believe it or not - it's raining again) and head out with her. I'm outside with her wearing flip fops - and my feet are now ICE cold! She pees right away - but then proceeds to just stand there and whine because it's raining out. But I know she has to poo too. So I'm walking around the yard - taking her to her favorite poo spots - and nothing. I'm too stubborn to just bring her and then take her out again 10 minutes later - my feet are freezing and I just want to go in already!
So I decide to take her to her FAVORITE poo spot - the pond.
She usually never makes it around the first bend without pooing, I thought, this is guaranteed.

I guess Carmela knew what I needed even more than me. Despite my freezing toes, flip flops, and full bladder. It was really peaceful there. It had stopped raining again. We saw a crane take off from the pond and fly away - which was really nice. The worms were out crawling across the pathway and it reminded me of when I was really little and HAD to be CARRIED over every worm on the sidewalk. If not, I would stand there and wail with fear. Then one time my Papa made me pick up a worm and I realized they weren't scary - just slimy. So from then on out I picked up every worm I saw and put it back in the grass. I'm weird.

I felt like picking up a worm for old time's sake - but I had to pee way too bad. I had to keep walking for fear of pissing my last clean pair of comfy pants - and seriously if they had not been my last clean pair - I would have thought long and hard about the sweet release and bared the rest of the walk wet - and warm.
As I rounded the last bend of our once around the pond - I was done reminiscing and just wanted to pee and warm up my feet already!

I'm finally comfortable, dry, and empty. I just had to tell all of you about this lovely day before we all curl up in bed with a movie.

and yes, she finally pooped :)

Posted by Katrina :: 9:00 PM :: 1 Chortles

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